If you survived the zombie apocalyse (and you obviously did, if you’re reading this), how would your tale of the outbreak unfold? In order to weave together the small amount of fragmented information which is available to date, your story – your Autozombiography – is requested by the powers-that-be. Collecting as many Autozombiographies together as possible is the only way we as a nation – indeed as a race of beings – can continue telling the story of our lives on this planet. Don’t let the fetid walking dead stop us! Without our history, we are just a stink on the wind…
So what about the hardships of post-infection life: Did you find yourself wading through putrescent stagnating pools of black zombie pus to get to food? Did you lose – or indeed put to death yourself – a dearly loved one? How have you battled non-zombie sicknesses whilst defending yourselves against the infected undead?
And what of the mechanics of your struggle: What is the highest number of undead you felled in one sitting? What weapons did you use and did you need to improvise them? What anti-zombie protection have you made for your encampment or for travelling?
How have you coped: Did you find humour an invaluable tool for survival? Have you gone stark-staring mental and are reading this smeared in your own filth singing nursery rhymes to your dead cats? Or was it all surprisingly easy, as long as you kept your head…?
Coming very soon is Baron Cissbury’s own Autozombiography – titled ‘Breaking News’. What would yours be called?