Yes, you read that right.
Followers of the @NJHallard Twitter account will be well aware by now that we are the proud owners of a shiny new, er, elephant!
I was on patrol with Al two days ago, around the outer perimeter of Cissbury Ring. The shift is always done in pairs, with one going clockwise, the other counter-clockwise as its just over a mile in circumference (unless you’re Dal, who does the whole lot on his own, on horseback in about two minutes). There is always a de-brief at the half-way point, where the two patrolling camp members meet up. Its usually a short meeting these days, as the zombies get thinner on the ground.
However, Al was telling me that there was not much to report when his jaw dropped. I turned round, expecting to see a horde of sulphurous stinkers making their way across the South Downs. But no, it was a common-or-garden elephant.
She was wandering serenely through the woods on one of the opposite hilltops. She seemed well-fed, and quite happy. There are a few zoos on the south coast of England, but they are a good distance away. One thing for sure is that elephants are not native to Britain! She must have bust out of a safari park or suchlike, maybe even on the day of the outbreak.
Now I am faced with a dilemma. As camp leader I have to mediate. Some camp members suggested we should let her go about her business. Some suggested we should keep her. Others, mindful of the approaching winter, only saw a thousand elephant steaks wandering about the countryside.
My own view is that we’re not short on meat, but we definitely have no vegetables to spare, especially for such a huge beast. But this is a democracy, of sorts, and I’m not the only one growing the vegetables or going hungry in the lean times.
I appreciate all feedback, especially from battle-hardened survivors of the zombie plague like yourselves. So before we decide whether she’ll be an eater or a keeper, I’d like YOU to let us here at Cissbury ring know what YOU think. There’s a poll below, and more elephant-related posts to follow:
- @mr_wheatley Nice one geezer. I'll prod him. sent: 7 months ago
- @mr_wheatley Hello mate, hope you're doing good things. Is Games Evening available anywhere? Used to be on Vimeo but got 404'd. sent: 7 months ago
- RT @pookleblinky: N.J. Hallard's "Breaking News: an Autozombiography" is a good book despite this title. Surprisingly good. sent: 3 years ago