Author Archives: N.J. Hallard

About N.J. Hallard

N.J. Hallard was born in England in 1975. He lives with his wife and child on the West Sussex coast. He enjoys cooking and telling tall tales.

The full story: The Baron returns!

Baron Cissbury has tracked a man who tried to barter his three young children across the South Downs. Clearly insane, he attacks the Baron’s horse which pins him to the ground where he endures several knife wounds, before five-year-old Anna – … Continue reading

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The man who tried to sell his children – the story so far

The following tweets from (and to) Baron Cissbury took place two nights ago. We still await the return of the Baron. May mercy be upon us all. Blimey, a survivor just left our camp wanting to barter his 3 kids. … Continue reading

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May Day market at Cissbury Ring

If any fellow survivors have access to safe transport, we’re holding a market here on Cissbury Ring. There’s a free sack of quicklime with every significant order. We’ll also be running a longbow session, as well as campcraft, cooking & … Continue reading

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A Cissbury Ring Christmas

David here. I’ve had soooo much to catch up on with the camp stores, I haven’t had a chance to update the baron’s weblog. So, in his absence (I hope he won’t notice), I’m doing it now. You know how … Continue reading

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Defence improvements grind to a wintry halt

Baron Cissbury here. We’ve had three really bitterly cold nights back-to-back this week, and the watery rose-edged sun does nothing to thaw the ground during the day. Daybreak unveils thick haw-frost, where the moisture freezes in the air then clings … Continue reading

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Cissbury Ring fortifications to be improved

Ahoy there fellow survivors! I’ve been digging for England for the past week or so, along with our six regular construction teams and some willing helpers from the community of over one hundred up here at Cissbury Ring. We decided … Continue reading

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Get more original artwork from the Baron!

David, Cissbury Chapter quartermaster here. Baron Cissbury has deviously patched into the old Amazon online bookstore servers (remember them?) and cannily uploaded his awesome account of the zombie apocalypse as a Kindle download. To celebrate this incredible feat of technological … Continue reading

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Win ‘Breaking News: an Autozombiography’ in time for Christmas

Christmas isn’t what it used to be, let’s face it. Do you remember when supermarkets unsubtly put Christmas crackers up for sale at the end of August? What about photocopying your arse at all those office parties? Or watching Christmas … Continue reading

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The winner of the Twitter competition is announced!

A while back the Cissbury Ring encampment opened a Twitter competition. The prize? A copy of ‘Breaking News: an Autozombiography’, signed by the Baron himself! A total of forty people tweeted the Baron’s message of hope to others around the … Continue reading

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Winner of Twitter retweet competition to be announced 9th October at 20:00GMT

A massive thank you to all those who helped spread the word via Twitter to other survivors who may be able to patch into remnants of the internet like us, about the Baron’s account of the first year after the … Continue reading

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